This is war.

"When life and death go to battle, ain't no tellin' what'll happen." Trip Lee

I realized how true this is from a recent trip to Haiti... a life changing week, like no other.

I knew this trip was going to be hard from the moment I began packing. I've always enjoyed traveling, and have never really been scared of a place. Sure, I had the typical response when people heard we were going to Haiti: "Why would you go to Haiti?" "You do know it's the poorest country in the western hemisphere, right?" I've still got some callousing to do, but after two years of ministry, these comments didn't phase me. However, while packing I felt an odd sense of dread. I suddenly did not want to go. This feeling was foreign to me! When have I ever hesitate at a chance to travel?! God has blessed me with so many mission opportunities, beginning with a trip to Spain in 8th grade with my dad, continuing with several trips to Guatemala, and a trip to Whistler. You get the point: missions & traveling was nothing new. I pushed this dread inside, and subcosiously knew this week was going to be intersteing, one way or the other.  Little did I know the effect it would have on my life.

We began our journey at midnight Friday June 29, 2012. After hours of driving, flying, waiting, flying, and driving some more we arrived at the Georgia House in Leogane, Haiti. The drive itself was like nothing I have ever seen. The poverty was impossible to ignore. Sewage and garbage is running in the streets, right past the food vendors and children playing. People are living under tarps, if they even have that. This was a level of poverty I had never seen before. Confirmation #2: this was going to be an interesting week.

Our trip was focused on leading VBS at a local church, and again at a local orphanage. I'm not going to lie: I was disappointed. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not much of a kid person. Confirmation #3: this was going to be an interesting week.

We began with VBS at the church; I was pleasantly surprised at how well it went...and how comfortable I was. The Lord gave me strength and in my weakness He worked through me. That was proven through out the week. In the afternoon, we went to the orphanage. And that is where my life was changed....

The kids were eating lunch when we arrived that first day. "This is awkward!" I thought. Kids covered in mud, food, and water literally begging for attention, pulling from all angles, asking for everything you had. Right there, I just wanted to go home. I remeber praying, "God give me strength. This is going to be a long week." I walked a few steps away to catch my breath, and that's when it happened. I looked down and saw a little boy teeter over to me slowly. When he was at my feet, he looked up and reached. My heart broke right there. This little 18 month boy just wanted someone to hold him. Nevermind the fact that he was clearly malnurished with a swollen belly, he just wanted love. For the rest of the week, we were attached. I'd try to put him down, only to have him scream and roll himself on the dirt until I picked him up again. And honestly, I didn't want to put him down anyways. Monday I was able to put him to sleep before we left. Wednesday is when the heartbreak began. He woke up before we left, and I held him and help him with his snack. The time came for us to leave for the day; he screamed like nothing I've ever heard or felt. He didn't understand. I cried on the way home, dreading the longer goodbye that was to come.

Thursday was our last day at the orphanage. My little boy came waddling over to me. He moves slowly because of his vitamen deficiency. I immediately cleaned him up; he was covered in dirt and food. I held him, and played with him. And I tried so hard to put him to sleep. I dreaded the goodbye that was to come. But he never feel asleep that day. The time came to leave, and he screamed. I walked away, and he got up to follow me. It was all I could do to keep walking to the car; he wasn't fast enough to catch me. I watched him stop and reach for the car while he screamed. I was leaving him to continue this life of poverty, this life without the love and care of a family, to return to my life of comfort and gluttony. It was the hardest moment of my life.

Why would God allow this to happen? Even now, I can't relive the moment without crying. My heart has been broken by a little 18 month Haitian boy. No, my heart has been broken by God.
   
God has shown me a glimpse at the compassion He has for these orphans, for this poverty striken-nation, and for the world. And it is so overwhelming. I still don't know how God will use this broken heart, but I know He will.

We are currently investigating the possibilty of adopting him. Please pray for us, pray for the boy, and pray for the 300,000 other orphans in Haiti. And remember God's cammand in James 1:27: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being.