Webster defines routine as "a regular course of procedure; habitual or mechanical performance of an established procedure." There's not much "routine" in the life of housewife. For me, it goes about as far as a weekly cleaning schedule. This can be hard on a type A, OCD, oldest of 5 new bride.
I like to think I am flexible. Give me one weeks notice and I'll be available for whatever you have in mind. :)
The people in our new community seem to know how to relax and be flexible much better than I do. Another area of growth; funny how God puts you in your least ideal situation so as to provide optimal growth. And I am thankful for that. After all, adjusting my scheduled time to go to the grocery store to hang out with a friend may not be the end of the world after all.
One thing I have been fortunate enough to establish in my daily "routine" is my workout. I LOVE my new gym! It's open 24-7 and is rarely crowed. Much to my husbands chagrin, I can even workout at 11pm after an unplanned food outing with friends. As is normal for those of us routine-followers, there are a few people who I see most every day at the gym. Granted, there is not much conversing going on between reps, but every now and then the usuals get a chance to catch up. One of these regulars is a local pastor. Upon first meeting, he explained how he came to his current church and proceeded to give me (a new youth pastor's wife) advise. "Start with the ABC's." I nodded, knowing deep down that I was prepared to jump right into inductive Bible study with my new youth. You see, I had it all planned out....
Famous last words. For those of you unfamiliar with inductive Bible study, it isn't something you just dive right into. You have to have a hunger for it. The words of the pastor seem so much more real. In all of my planning and training, the thought had never crossed my mind that what was normal for me was far from normal for others.
A local teacher-friend explained it well: "You just feel like a pent up race horse." She was referring to my desire for a teaching job. I have all this training and knowledge I am ready to try, yet no avenue to show it. I wonder how many of us miss valuable opportunities to minister and be part of God's plan simply because we have it "all planned out." Yet how exciting it is to be flexible and watch God work; He's plan is infinitely better than anything I could dream.
Proverbs 31:17- "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her task."
And I'm sure the work of the Proverbs 31 woman is not always (if ever!) what she expects. She work diligently, whether she planned for it or not!
Webster defines flexible as"characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing requirements." God is faithful and I know He will help me gain this trait.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Refocusing
Let's get honest for a moment: as of the past month, any fantasies of going out of town usually involve interstates, Starbucks, and of course shopping malls. Hey, I wouldn't even mind getting stuck in traffic for a little while. However, this weekend we found ourselves going further south...yes it is possible! My husband was a groomsman in a wedding, and we spent last weekend participating in the wedding festivities in deep south Georgia.
While there, we had the privilege of meeting an Australian pastor and his college intern. What an encouraging pair! During the weekend we had several conversations about ministry. In their laid-back Aussie style, they explained their discipleship-based ministry in the land Down Under. Meanwhile, God is using them to reveal suppressed truths about my own current attitude....
The biggest struggle with being jobless is tied to our humanistic need for approval. I mean, how would I even cope if mud was tracked onto my new rug?! And of course the world would come to an end if, heaven forbid, I served spinach salad and baked chicken to someone who hates vegetables and prefers red meat.
And then comes the big one: what do people think of me being unemployed? Every career question prompts a long explanation; I mean, it'd be just awful if people thought I CHOSE my current occupation!! But seriously, why so do I care so much?! How shallow! While it's totally fine and natural for me to want to present a clean, modern home, and it's totally fine for me to enjoy making myself look presentable (I believe one pastor said it would be a sin for some women not to wear makeup! ha), there is a balance. So what is it that really does matter? What matters is that I am using my gifts and resources to bring glory to God. He has provided me with a town house to host people, kitchen equipment to cook, and plenty of time to prepare! At the end of the day, if they didn't like my food or if someone stopped by before I had a chance to vacuum, my purpose has not been hindered. In fact, it has actually been accomplished: relationship building.
And this all goes back to what we as Christians we are called to do wherever we are..."make disciples." (Acts 1:8)
What is being in the ministry really about? It's not about numbers; it's not about convincing people to become Christians; it's about producing disciples. Isn't it frustrating how we get so stuck on ourselves? It's like we need visible affirmation that our work is worthwhile. Similar to my struggles in looking for approval from others in my housekeeping, often the focus in ministry is on numbers. It's on things that can be easily measured. I may base our success on how many people we shared the gospel with, or how many came to Sunday school, or how many Bible studies we are in. As confirmed by our new Australian friends, the focus is all wrong. My job is to make disciples. This is not as easily measured, but why does it need to be?? I should not seek man's approval, but God's. And what is it that brings Him joy?
1. Be attentive to the missions field around me. Look for opportunities to lead people to Him, help them grow.
2. Make disciples. And this goes both ways. Not only do I need to find a place grow, but I also need to find people to disciple.
3. Use my gifts! God gave me my gifts and preferences and He doesn't expect me to ignore them, but to use them for His glory!
I am blessed to have come from a family based on discipleship. As I have grown up and moved around, I have really come to appreciate my dad's commitment to discipling his kids. I have never met another dad like him. How blessed am I!? And he continues that commitment in the lives of men and college guys. His goal is not to lead people to Christ but to guide them through a growing walk with the Lord. It's the multiplication factor! My dad is the best example of true, worthwhile ministry that I know, my model for ministry here. <3
While there, we had the privilege of meeting an Australian pastor and his college intern. What an encouraging pair! During the weekend we had several conversations about ministry. In their laid-back Aussie style, they explained their discipleship-based ministry in the land Down Under. Meanwhile, God is using them to reveal suppressed truths about my own current attitude....
The biggest struggle with being jobless is tied to our humanistic need for approval. I mean, how would I even cope if mud was tracked onto my new rug?! And of course the world would come to an end if, heaven forbid, I served spinach salad and baked chicken to someone who hates vegetables and prefers red meat.
And then comes the big one: what do people think of me being unemployed? Every career question prompts a long explanation; I mean, it'd be just awful if people thought I CHOSE my current occupation!! But seriously, why so do I care so much?! How shallow! While it's totally fine and natural for me to want to present a clean, modern home, and it's totally fine for me to enjoy making myself look presentable (I believe one pastor said it would be a sin for some women not to wear makeup! ha), there is a balance. So what is it that really does matter? What matters is that I am using my gifts and resources to bring glory to God. He has provided me with a town house to host people, kitchen equipment to cook, and plenty of time to prepare! At the end of the day, if they didn't like my food or if someone stopped by before I had a chance to vacuum, my purpose has not been hindered. In fact, it has actually been accomplished: relationship building.
And this all goes back to what we as Christians we are called to do wherever we are..."make disciples." (Acts 1:8)
What is being in the ministry really about? It's not about numbers; it's not about convincing people to become Christians; it's about producing disciples. Isn't it frustrating how we get so stuck on ourselves? It's like we need visible affirmation that our work is worthwhile. Similar to my struggles in looking for approval from others in my housekeeping, often the focus in ministry is on numbers. It's on things that can be easily measured. I may base our success on how many people we shared the gospel with, or how many came to Sunday school, or how many Bible studies we are in. As confirmed by our new Australian friends, the focus is all wrong. My job is to make disciples. This is not as easily measured, but why does it need to be?? I should not seek man's approval, but God's. And what is it that brings Him joy?
1. Be attentive to the missions field around me. Look for opportunities to lead people to Him, help them grow.
2. Make disciples. And this goes both ways. Not only do I need to find a place grow, but I also need to find people to disciple.
3. Use my gifts! God gave me my gifts and preferences and He doesn't expect me to ignore them, but to use them for His glory!
I am blessed to have come from a family based on discipleship. As I have grown up and moved around, I have really come to appreciate my dad's commitment to discipling his kids. I have never met another dad like him. How blessed am I!? And he continues that commitment in the lives of men and college guys. His goal is not to lead people to Christ but to guide them through a growing walk with the Lord. It's the multiplication factor! My dad is the best example of true, worthwhile ministry that I know, my model for ministry here. <3
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Wear Your Heels!
As all of my friends know, I love love LOVE to wear heels. Something about them makes me feels much more relaxed and confident. While it's nice to find a pair of comfortable stilettos, this is not always realistic. I'll pick a toe-pinching "tall shoe" over the most comfortable ballet flats every time. Now once my job description changes, this persuasion may change slightly. But for now: heels win out every time.
With this love comes a love for shopping. I LOVE shopping! My favorite is finding "deals". "Banana Republic shirt for $10!? What an easy shopping-decision!" While Augusta wasn't one of my favorite cities to live it, they made up for it with an AMAZING mall. The three best stores a girl could ever want were side by side: The Loft, Banana Republic, and Gap! Overwhelming, I know. A simple stop through on my way to studying at Barnes and Noble would produce bargains beyond belief! But somehow I managed to live there two years without going completely bankrupt.
One of the many adjustments of living in south Georgia: the closest mall is two hours. While at first this fact was part of my wallowing, God is faithful enough to give me a reality check every now and then. Fact 1: I have no job. Hence, the blog! No job=no income=no money. Period. Fact 2: Shopping is not the most productive way to spend my time. While there is a time and a place, I can see how being a housewife with a mall close by would be dangerous...very dangerous. Fact 3: God has a lot of work here for us to do. The last thing I need are distractions from this work.
While I am still figuring out God's current calling for me, each day is an adventure. As He helps me focus more and more on Him, He is showing me ways to be part of His work here. Being a youth pastor's wife, this shouldn't be hard to find. Isn't it funny how we make "doing the Lord's work" so complicated? Maybe what God has for me right now is to help with cleaning up after youth events after everyone has left; or type up handouts for the lessons Wednesday night. Or even just do what I can to help the youth pastor be the best youth pastor he can be! This is not as glamorous as leading Bible studies or writing books, but since when is it all about me? This is a hard pill to swallow; my wallowing and self-pity do not allow such thinking. How exciting, though, to be part of the amazing work God is doing here! And what an honor. Despite feeling out of place and useless, He has given me purpose. All He is asking me to do is be myself and look for ways to dive right into His work.
So, while wearing my new $8 Gap shirt (purchased through online shopping... moderation is key!) and my "tall shoes", God is using me right here in south Georgia.
Proverbs 31:22- "She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple."
My mom is one of the classiest women I know; she makes a point of presenting herself in a proper way without being flashy and consumed with her appearance. Her house is always nicely decorated and clean. Meanwhile, she has an extraordinary ministry with the impoverished high school mothers in her GED class. Clearly her sense of style is not flashy! And she in NO way lives outside of her means. Where do you think I get my love for bargain shopping?! :) Because of this, she is a true Proverbs 31 wife. I hope to one day find that balance she has. She's my hero!
With this love comes a love for shopping. I LOVE shopping! My favorite is finding "deals". "Banana Republic shirt for $10!? What an easy shopping-decision!" While Augusta wasn't one of my favorite cities to live it, they made up for it with an AMAZING mall. The three best stores a girl could ever want were side by side: The Loft, Banana Republic, and Gap! Overwhelming, I know. A simple stop through on my way to studying at Barnes and Noble would produce bargains beyond belief! But somehow I managed to live there two years without going completely bankrupt.
One of the many adjustments of living in south Georgia: the closest mall is two hours. While at first this fact was part of my wallowing, God is faithful enough to give me a reality check every now and then. Fact 1: I have no job. Hence, the blog! No job=no income=no money. Period. Fact 2: Shopping is not the most productive way to spend my time. While there is a time and a place, I can see how being a housewife with a mall close by would be dangerous...very dangerous. Fact 3: God has a lot of work here for us to do. The last thing I need are distractions from this work.
While I am still figuring out God's current calling for me, each day is an adventure. As He helps me focus more and more on Him, He is showing me ways to be part of His work here. Being a youth pastor's wife, this shouldn't be hard to find. Isn't it funny how we make "doing the Lord's work" so complicated? Maybe what God has for me right now is to help with cleaning up after youth events after everyone has left; or type up handouts for the lessons Wednesday night. Or even just do what I can to help the youth pastor be the best youth pastor he can be! This is not as glamorous as leading Bible studies or writing books, but since when is it all about me? This is a hard pill to swallow; my wallowing and self-pity do not allow such thinking. How exciting, though, to be part of the amazing work God is doing here! And what an honor. Despite feeling out of place and useless, He has given me purpose. All He is asking me to do is be myself and look for ways to dive right into His work.
So, while wearing my new $8 Gap shirt (purchased through online shopping... moderation is key!) and my "tall shoes", God is using me right here in south Georgia.
Proverbs 31:22- "She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple."
My mom is one of the classiest women I know; she makes a point of presenting herself in a proper way without being flashy and consumed with her appearance. Her house is always nicely decorated and clean. Meanwhile, she has an extraordinary ministry with the impoverished high school mothers in her GED class. Clearly her sense of style is not flashy! And she in NO way lives outside of her means. Where do you think I get my love for bargain shopping?! :) Because of this, she is a true Proverbs 31 wife. I hope to one day find that balance she has. She's my hero!
Monday, August 9, 2010
This one is for you, Meg! :)
So we have established one part my job description: provide food for my family. With this I am able to not only enjoy a favorite hobby (cooking), but also stay true to myself by eating healthily. This new job I have may not be so bad after all...
Over the years I have become rather particular about what I eat. Not that I don't love food! Don't get me wrong, I love a big bowl of chocolate ice cream or an order fries. But these are definately a treat and are by no means kept in the house. I cringe at memories of cafeteria food freshman year of college...eek. More often than I'd like to mention I can remember going through the line struggling to find something appetizing. By the time I'd reach my usual table with my hall mates, I would have a bowl of ice cream. The end. I am embarrassed to say there were no fruits, no veggies! Ah, the horror! I feel nauseated remembering these days of malnutrition. Thankfully, I have matured greatly (and gradually) since then. So much is related to food...my well-being, my attitude, my energy levels. My point: I am very excited about my new freedom to cook full meals every day. :) If you haven't noticed, I 'm a bit obsessed. Moving on...
Everyone has things they don't enjoy. One thing that I have come to dislike is eating out (see previous paragraph). My dilemma: people around here prefer eating out for fellowship.... a lot. So do I (A) alter who I am, or (B) remain a hermit crab for my time here? Ah, but there must be an option C! And there is. I have decided to address the status quo by having people over for dinner. And so, I have a new way to use my hobby.
Our first dinner was a success. Thursday night a couple came over and we enjoy the aforementioned bread as a side. The night ended with a rousing game of Bananagrams (one of my new favorites).
Then came to second hosting. I'd always heard that cooking can be unnerving and at times a flop. I'd also noticed that people seem to particularly enjoy eating out on Sunday afternoons after church. In my naivety, I did not understand either of these facts.
Thursday afternoon we invited a couple whom we had met when we first began the interview process here back in April. They have been very welcoming and helpful through out the entire transition, so I thought it appropriate to host them for Sunday lunch! What a nice thought....
Saturday morning I looked through the cookbook, picking out a meal to cook for our friends the next day. It needed to be fairly quick, as I had 30 minutes between church and lunch. This would be a synch! I found a lemon garlic chicken recipe, planned a spinach salad, pulled some corn from the freezer, and bought a loaf of whole wheat bread. (while the bread making experience was quite rejuvenating, I was not recovered enough to attempted a second go-around quite yet). I had this hosting thing down pat! Famous last words.
It's 12:30pm Sunday. Lunch is a 1. Time to enter my cooking haven. Speed bump #1: Instead of boneless chicken breasts, I have somehow managed to purchase chicken strips. Yikes. No worries. I have a cabinet full of whole wheat pasta and sauces. The FBC pounding party has come to my rescue. I whisper a prayer of thank you, Lord, and proceed to make chicken alfredo. As the pasta is boiling, I open my bag of spinach to prepare the salad. Speed bump #2: The leaves are rotten to the bottom. Great, now what. Heaven forbid I host a lunch without vegetables (see first paragraph...yes, obsessed). As I am browning the chicken, my mind is processing the dilemma. Then at 12:40pm it hits me: lima beans! Being a good wife, I keep a stock of my husbands favorite vegetable in the freezer: lima beans. Who would have thought they would come to the rescue for a such a well planned lunch?
It's 12:50pm. The beans are just finishing. The chicken and sauce are simply waiting on their noodles to be complete. And now the pasta is done boiling. Feeling very impressed with myself for fighting the food evils and producing a healthy meal in less than 30 minutes, I began straining the noodles. Let me pause by explaining another asset to my kitchen. You have met my Kitchen Aide mixer in the previous posting...I love her. Now you will meet my garbage disposal. With the simple flip of a button food can be washed down the drain, gone forever; no more reaching down the drain to pull out clogging food. Back to my story. I am draining the pasta, the final step to my meal. Suddenly, speed bump # 3 hits: the lid from my new pot slides out of my hand. Pasta begins spilling into the sink, and yes, down the garbage disposal. As I begin grabbing the pasta, the entire pot falls into the sink; there was not a single piece of pasta survivor that day. I only had a second to process and respond to this tragedy. Pounding party! I quickly slung open my packed shelves of food and grabbed another box of pasta. And at 1:15pm we were sitting down to eat a meal of chicken alfredo, lima beans, and bread. A pure miracle from heaven!
Convinced my new friends could sense the unnerving from the meal preparation, I jokingly confessed the entire process to my friend that afternoon at the pool. She assured me they had no idea. :) But we will have a re-do in the future, that is for sure! Not only does God provide for His children, but He also has a sense of humor! And that Sunday, I was especially grateful for our generous new church family here at First Baptist. Thank you for the pounding party!
Proverbs 31:25b: "She can laugh at the days to come." I am NOT good at this; my husband can vouch for me on this. Being a choleric type A perfectionist, I can take life a bit too seriously. During this meal preparation, God gave me the ability to lighten up, and actually enjoy watching the meal fall apart and then come together. God is good, and there is so much to learn! What an adventure!!
Over the years I have become rather particular about what I eat. Not that I don't love food! Don't get me wrong, I love a big bowl of chocolate ice cream or an order fries. But these are definately a treat and are by no means kept in the house. I cringe at memories of cafeteria food freshman year of college...eek. More often than I'd like to mention I can remember going through the line struggling to find something appetizing. By the time I'd reach my usual table with my hall mates, I would have a bowl of ice cream. The end. I am embarrassed to say there were no fruits, no veggies! Ah, the horror! I feel nauseated remembering these days of malnutrition. Thankfully, I have matured greatly (and gradually) since then. So much is related to food...my well-being, my attitude, my energy levels. My point: I am very excited about my new freedom to cook full meals every day. :) If you haven't noticed, I 'm a bit obsessed. Moving on...
Everyone has things they don't enjoy. One thing that I have come to dislike is eating out (see previous paragraph). My dilemma: people around here prefer eating out for fellowship.... a lot. So do I (A) alter who I am, or (B) remain a hermit crab for my time here? Ah, but there must be an option C! And there is. I have decided to address the status quo by having people over for dinner. And so, I have a new way to use my hobby.
Our first dinner was a success. Thursday night a couple came over and we enjoy the aforementioned bread as a side. The night ended with a rousing game of Bananagrams (one of my new favorites).
Then came to second hosting. I'd always heard that cooking can be unnerving and at times a flop. I'd also noticed that people seem to particularly enjoy eating out on Sunday afternoons after church. In my naivety, I did not understand either of these facts.
Thursday afternoon we invited a couple whom we had met when we first began the interview process here back in April. They have been very welcoming and helpful through out the entire transition, so I thought it appropriate to host them for Sunday lunch! What a nice thought....
Saturday morning I looked through the cookbook, picking out a meal to cook for our friends the next day. It needed to be fairly quick, as I had 30 minutes between church and lunch. This would be a synch! I found a lemon garlic chicken recipe, planned a spinach salad, pulled some corn from the freezer, and bought a loaf of whole wheat bread. (while the bread making experience was quite rejuvenating, I was not recovered enough to attempted a second go-around quite yet). I had this hosting thing down pat! Famous last words.
It's 12:30pm Sunday. Lunch is a 1. Time to enter my cooking haven. Speed bump #1: Instead of boneless chicken breasts, I have somehow managed to purchase chicken strips. Yikes. No worries. I have a cabinet full of whole wheat pasta and sauces. The FBC pounding party has come to my rescue. I whisper a prayer of thank you, Lord, and proceed to make chicken alfredo. As the pasta is boiling, I open my bag of spinach to prepare the salad. Speed bump #2: The leaves are rotten to the bottom. Great, now what. Heaven forbid I host a lunch without vegetables (see first paragraph...yes, obsessed). As I am browning the chicken, my mind is processing the dilemma. Then at 12:40pm it hits me: lima beans! Being a good wife, I keep a stock of my husbands favorite vegetable in the freezer: lima beans. Who would have thought they would come to the rescue for a such a well planned lunch?
It's 12:50pm. The beans are just finishing. The chicken and sauce are simply waiting on their noodles to be complete. And now the pasta is done boiling. Feeling very impressed with myself for fighting the food evils and producing a healthy meal in less than 30 minutes, I began straining the noodles. Let me pause by explaining another asset to my kitchen. You have met my Kitchen Aide mixer in the previous posting...I love her. Now you will meet my garbage disposal. With the simple flip of a button food can be washed down the drain, gone forever; no more reaching down the drain to pull out clogging food. Back to my story. I am draining the pasta, the final step to my meal. Suddenly, speed bump # 3 hits: the lid from my new pot slides out of my hand. Pasta begins spilling into the sink, and yes, down the garbage disposal. As I begin grabbing the pasta, the entire pot falls into the sink; there was not a single piece of pasta survivor that day. I only had a second to process and respond to this tragedy. Pounding party! I quickly slung open my packed shelves of food and grabbed another box of pasta. And at 1:15pm we were sitting down to eat a meal of chicken alfredo, lima beans, and bread. A pure miracle from heaven!
Convinced my new friends could sense the unnerving from the meal preparation, I jokingly confessed the entire process to my friend that afternoon at the pool. She assured me they had no idea. :) But we will have a re-do in the future, that is for sure! Not only does God provide for His children, but He also has a sense of humor! And that Sunday, I was especially grateful for our generous new church family here at First Baptist. Thank you for the pounding party!
Proverbs 31:25b: "She can laugh at the days to come." I am NOT good at this; my husband can vouch for me on this. Being a choleric type A perfectionist, I can take life a bit too seriously. During this meal preparation, God gave me the ability to lighten up, and actually enjoy watching the meal fall apart and then come together. God is good, and there is so much to learn! What an adventure!!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Bread-making
Now that you have the background to my new life, it is time to begin my charting of this search for significance as a housewife.
Let me begin by telling you my self-pity and pride have been completely exposed these past few weeks. This awkward exposure is what has led me to my quest for purpose. I began with (and, eh, still wallow in more than I'd like to admit...ahem) feelings of displacement and injustice. "I have a masters degree and am certified to teach 4 subjects! I don't deserve to be a housewife!!", "I don't fit in or belong here in South Georgia!", "All of my girls are in school and I have NOTHING to do." And on and on goes the whining. You get the picture. Pure embarrassment to anyone.
After worrying myself into a pit of despair (and it didn't take long), I began to realize, with the help of friends and the Holy Spirit, that my focus has been all wrong. Instead of knit picking and focusing on what's bad, I needed to find something constructive to do with my time. And thus begins the bread-making....
I have always enjoyed cooking, much to the enjoyment and dismay (I like to be "creative"...) of my family. Being a newly wed with so many generous friends and family, I am pleased to announce that I now have a full collection of all the kitchen equipment I would ever need to open a small restaurant. At this point in the job search, I am not ruling that out... I ramble.
One of my favorite kitchen gifts is my Kitchen Aide mixer. What a delight to the homemaker's eyes! The morning after my refocusing, I decide to put my baby to work: I am going to make bread! I mean seriously, what do I have to lose except a few hours of wallowing. Not only am I making bread, but I am going to make whole wheat bread in south Georgia (I've always felt a need to prove my individuality...). As I pour the flour and water mixtures in this Kitchen Aide jewel, I am awed. It is hands-free! My biceps are pleased with this new addition to the kitchen.
The timer goes off and I retrieve my flour mixture from the mixer. Preparing to knead, my heart drops. The "dough" is like glue! "This is NOT what the picture looks like." The feeling of despair began creeping in... "I can't even make bread. What is my purpose?!" At this point and entire hour of wallowing had been lost...tragic. After briefly contemplating scraping the whole thing, I realized the truth: what else was I going to do with my afternoon? Why not give a try? And I am so glad I did.
A few hours later, I nervously peeked into the oven. It was almost time for youth group and I was hoping to leave the house on a cherry note. It smelled like bread, it looked like bread, and now was the true test. I sliced a piece and a wave of relief washed over me. It tasted like bread!! I excitedly texted my husband (who was completely ignorant of my adventure for the day) "The bread worked!." Generating no response, I naturally called my mother for approval. Begin a good woman, she was excited with me. I quickly sliced a piece to give my husband and left for church.
Proverbs 31:15- "She gets up while it is still dark and provides food for her family."
Part one of my role as a housewife: provide healthy meals for my family. But I'm not even gonna attempt to get up before dark. That'd be a bad day for everyone. :-D
While I am called to live in an area I am not familiar with, God is not asking me to change who I am. As my aunt wisely pointed out from Shakespeare, "To thine own self be true!" He made me with a passion to eat healthfully, and has thus provided the tools to do so. What a relief!
Let me begin by telling you my self-pity and pride have been completely exposed these past few weeks. This awkward exposure is what has led me to my quest for purpose. I began with (and, eh, still wallow in more than I'd like to admit...ahem) feelings of displacement and injustice. "I have a masters degree and am certified to teach 4 subjects! I don't deserve to be a housewife!!", "I don't fit in or belong here in South Georgia!", "All of my girls are in school and I have NOTHING to do." And on and on goes the whining. You get the picture. Pure embarrassment to anyone.
After worrying myself into a pit of despair (and it didn't take long), I began to realize, with the help of friends and the Holy Spirit, that my focus has been all wrong. Instead of knit picking and focusing on what's bad, I needed to find something constructive to do with my time. And thus begins the bread-making....
I have always enjoyed cooking, much to the enjoyment and dismay (I like to be "creative"...) of my family. Being a newly wed with so many generous friends and family, I am pleased to announce that I now have a full collection of all the kitchen equipment I would ever need to open a small restaurant. At this point in the job search, I am not ruling that out... I ramble.
One of my favorite kitchen gifts is my Kitchen Aide mixer. What a delight to the homemaker's eyes! The morning after my refocusing, I decide to put my baby to work: I am going to make bread! I mean seriously, what do I have to lose except a few hours of wallowing. Not only am I making bread, but I am going to make whole wheat bread in south Georgia (I've always felt a need to prove my individuality...). As I pour the flour and water mixtures in this Kitchen Aide jewel, I am awed. It is hands-free! My biceps are pleased with this new addition to the kitchen.
The timer goes off and I retrieve my flour mixture from the mixer. Preparing to knead, my heart drops. The "dough" is like glue! "This is NOT what the picture looks like." The feeling of despair began creeping in... "I can't even make bread. What is my purpose?!" At this point and entire hour of wallowing had been lost...tragic. After briefly contemplating scraping the whole thing, I realized the truth: what else was I going to do with my afternoon? Why not give a try? And I am so glad I did.
A few hours later, I nervously peeked into the oven. It was almost time for youth group and I was hoping to leave the house on a cherry note. It smelled like bread, it looked like bread, and now was the true test. I sliced a piece and a wave of relief washed over me. It tasted like bread!! I excitedly texted my husband (who was completely ignorant of my adventure for the day) "The bread worked!." Generating no response, I naturally called my mother for approval. Begin a good woman, she was excited with me. I quickly sliced a piece to give my husband and left for church.
Proverbs 31:15- "She gets up while it is still dark and provides food for her family."
Part one of my role as a housewife: provide healthy meals for my family. But I'm not even gonna attempt to get up before dark. That'd be a bad day for everyone. :-D
While I am called to live in an area I am not familiar with, God is not asking me to change who I am. As my aunt wisely pointed out from Shakespeare, "To thine own self be true!" He made me with a passion to eat healthfully, and has thus provided the tools to do so. What a relief!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Housewife?!?
Recently someone mentioned to me the idea of keeping a blog. I laughed, but later found myself proposing the idea my best friend. "I am thinking about considering a blog about being a housewife. What do you think?" She was very excited about the idea, so here I am!
Where do I begin? Well, I suppose the revelation point of my new identity is a good starting point. I have now been married for almost one month. The first week after the honeymoon was full of paper work, new accounts, a new name, thank you notes, returns... and on and on it seems. One event in particular spark the realization of my new role: the joint bank account.
We were sitting at the desk across from the banker, filling out paperwork and all that adding me to my husbands account entails. Everything is flowing smoothly when suddenly I am hit with THE question. The one can affect an outsider's perception of you for better of for worse. Sweetly, the banker looks across the desk and asks, "What is your career?" Suddenly I am at a loss for words. For most my life, I could answer that question without second thought. Lifeguard, telemarketer, student. I looked across the desk at the eager banker and shamefully mumbled, "I'm unemployed." Suddenly feeling like a parasite on my husbands bank account, I proceeded to come up with a detailed explanation of my many degrees, and desire to find a teaching position. However, before I could develop my explanation, my new friend smiled and excitedly announced, "Well, that means you are a housewife!" A housewife?! I wasn't sure how I felt about that. What exactly is a housewife? I'd always imagined a lady older than myself with several kids, a house with a white picket fence, and a vegetable garden out back. Something that may (or may not) be in the future for me. But a 25 year old newly wed with a chihuahua and a two bedroom townhouse? This was something for me to ponder.
And thus begins my venture to discover my role as a housewife. What is it that God has for me to do?
Where do I begin? Well, I suppose the revelation point of my new identity is a good starting point. I have now been married for almost one month. The first week after the honeymoon was full of paper work, new accounts, a new name, thank you notes, returns... and on and on it seems. One event in particular spark the realization of my new role: the joint bank account.
We were sitting at the desk across from the banker, filling out paperwork and all that adding me to my husbands account entails. Everything is flowing smoothly when suddenly I am hit with THE question. The one can affect an outsider's perception of you for better of for worse. Sweetly, the banker looks across the desk and asks, "What is your career?" Suddenly I am at a loss for words. For most my life, I could answer that question without second thought. Lifeguard, telemarketer, student. I looked across the desk at the eager banker and shamefully mumbled, "I'm unemployed." Suddenly feeling like a parasite on my husbands bank account, I proceeded to come up with a detailed explanation of my many degrees, and desire to find a teaching position. However, before I could develop my explanation, my new friend smiled and excitedly announced, "Well, that means you are a housewife!" A housewife?! I wasn't sure how I felt about that. What exactly is a housewife? I'd always imagined a lady older than myself with several kids, a house with a white picket fence, and a vegetable garden out back. Something that may (or may not) be in the future for me. But a 25 year old newly wed with a chihuahua and a two bedroom townhouse? This was something for me to ponder.
And thus begins my venture to discover my role as a housewife. What is it that God has for me to do?
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